Charlotte Croft recently became a wheelchair user following a diagnosis of a health condition, which resulted in limited mobility. In this open and honest personal story, Charlotte shares the difficulties of becoming a newly disabled person and the challenges of venturing out in her manual wheelchair.
My life in a wheelchair, the world looks so big from down here. I feel so small. We always laugh as adults at children screaming about getting in a pram. “I’d love someone to push me around all day” we joked, as our legs powered on without complaint. We even joked as kids about how fun wheelchairs looked, gliding around the shops with ease – how wrong we were.
After my diagnosis of Functional Neurological Disorder and non-epileptic attack disorder, I have been left with no choice but to use a wheelchair almost every day. This is my story and experience with the wheelchair.
Accessing the park in my wheelchair
On the first day of trying out the chair, I was very optimistic. How easy it would feel to rest my tired legs and not have to miss out on fun days or long dog walks. How wrong I was.
It was the very first try. A sunny Saturday afternoon. A little fry in a local park. My partner and dog in tow, we set off from the car. We didn’t even have to enter the park to realise how wrong we were.
Every stone, every bump, every tiny little nook in a pathway made it difficult.
Pushing your own weight is hard enough, it’s slow and heavy. Your arms ache and you need to have a break, even after a few rotations. You think you’ve got it, trying to pick up the momentum but you turn and realise just how slow and little you’ve travelled.
We soldiered on, my partner pushing me to the park, our sincere belief that the park would be easier and we would get the hang of it.
The initial hill was enough to put us off already. Uphill is impossible but downhill was just as hard, as you struggle to regain control, your hands blistered from stopping yourself from hitting into a tree.
The uneven paths make it even more difficult. These wheels just aren’t made for the loose rubble and cracked pavements. You find yourself veering this way and that with little control. You hit a stone and suddenly veer off to the right, drifting like a body in the ocean, with little control and nothing to stop yourself.
In the end, we gave up. More trouble than it’s worth. Hobbled back, pushing it up the hill with all my legs would give. I felt deflated and angry, sore and hurt by the defeat.
The physical and mental impact of navigating in a wheelchair
The second time was a bigger success. The smooth shop floor and wide isles made it much easier to control.
But it doesn’t stop the stares. The glares of people from above, wondering why you’re in ‘The chair’. The nods from fellow sufferers, who understand what others don’t. It doesn’t stop the pain. The achy arms and pain in your back as you power on.
Life feels like a game of ‘eeny, meany, miney, mo’. This or that? What limbs should I use today? What pain shall I impose on my body just to navigate daily life?
The wheelchair was supposed to be a chance to rest my legs. But when your arms are tired and screaming for a rest, you feel just as weak and helpless as when using your legs.
You can find out more about Charlotte’s experiences of living with a disability by following her on Instagram and TikTok.
Can you relate to some of the challenges Charlotte has mentioned when using a wheelchair? Share your thoughts in the comments box, on social media or contact us to tell us your personal story.