CJ Janzen is an international award-winning singer/songwriter and speaker from Ontario, Canada, who lives with multiple chronic illnesses. She combines her love of singing and teaching people how to become “Joyfully Resilient”. Through song, story, and skill building, CJ takes her audience through a journey of self-discovery and interactive exercises.

In this personal story, CJ shares an inspiring journey of resilience, transformation and purpose. From overcoming chronic illnesses and addiction to rediscovering identity, CJ proves that joy, passion and community can thrive despite adversity.

What does a babysitter, a clown, a lifeguard, a paramedic, a truck driver (lorry driver), a globe-trotting scuba instructor, a disabled person, an event creator, an author, a chief wellbeing officer, a community disability advocate, a singer/songwriter, and an award-winning speaker all have in common? – ME!

I know it sounds like a bad joke, but as you can see, I’ve led an adventurous life, even after I was diagnosed with chronic illnesses!

My name is CJ Janzen – The Singing Speaker – and I am the Creator and Producer of {dis}ABILITY Unleashed, a platform to elevate and celebrate those of us who are differently abled. This all started with a Variety Show, but I’m hoping to build it into so much more and to achieve non-profit status by 2026.

Navigating the uncertainty: the journey to a diagnosis of chronic illnesses

Being 80 to 90% bed bound on any given day and living with a serious chronic illness can really suck, but I created a life saying many years ago and it’s my mantra and touchstone for those “bad days” we all go through – “Choose to live Joyously within the tempest of adversity.”.

What’s my illness? Well, it’s called Myalgic Encephalomyelitis – M.E for short because everything’s all about me.

I have other companion disabilities and chronic illnesses, like dyslexia, ADHD, genetic alcoholism, liver issues, fibromyalgia, and I could add a laundry list of other ailments, but honestly, who cares? It’s not what I have that matters, it’s what I do that does.

When I woke up sick on my 39th birthday, I had no idea that my life of scuba diving two to four times a day and frolicking free in the tropics had devolved into an inability to speak more than two to four words at a time and to being trapped in my bed 80 to 90% of my day for over 12 years and counting – don’t do the maths. All that I was, all that I had, and my dreams for the future disappeared overnight.

On 21st October 2012, I boarded a plane from Mexico to return to the chilly country of Canada. I was battling two life-threatening illnesses, an as yet undiagnosed illness and full-blown alcoholism. As I travelled home, I drank heavily on the aeroplane, promising myself that I would never drink again and that once my medical insurance kicked back in (a three-month wait), I would figure out what the hell was wrong with me!

Sadly, my resolve failed and I drank the very next day, but five days later, I did make it through the doors of AA and though it was incredibly hard, I can now say that I’m over 12 years sober! Now, I wouldn’t wish my illness on anyone, breaking free of alcohol has been one of many silver linings of developing M.E.

At the beginning of my illness, I tried to fight it and made myself worse because, as a type ‘A’ personality, I was sure if I just kept pushing that I would miraculously get better – not! The harder I pushed, the worse I got. Instead, I had to learn to live within the constraints of my new reality and that sucked!

I had lost all sense of value and felt worthless. Just a burden on society. I recognised that when I spoke to everyone, I was always telling them I was a scuba instructor, I was a truck driver, I was a paramedic, I was, I was, I was… I no longer was anything!

Discovering my new “I am”

I had to explore new passions and purpose and re-discover my new “I am!”. I didn’t know exactly where to begin, so I started out small and gave myself one job. Every day, either online or in person, I had to make at least one person smile – that’s it – just to make one person smile!

On my good days, when I was out and about in my wheelchair, I would approach random strangers and compliment them. “I love how your smile lights up the room”, or “You look fabulous today, is it a special occasion, or do you always look so amazing?”. Comments like that have led to several wonderful conversations.

If I was only strong enough to be online, I would send out a funny meme or story, or privately message a friend to give them a ‘drive by hugging’. It was a minuscule action I could take every day that made me smile and made someone else smile. After all, smiles are contagious and I imagined a wave of joy passing around the world all because I was still alive that day. I had begun having a purpose and value again!

The next step in moving from the “I was” to the “I am” was to be willing to fail fearlessly. I went out of my way to try new things or build off other skills I already had in my preverbal toolbox and apply them differently. Now, don’t get me wrong, of course, failing is never the desired outcome, but I know failures are just stepping stones for future success!

I knew I might meet someone who could help me make magic in the future, or I would have learnt a random skill that can be leveraged for success in another project, or even learnt that whatever it was, really wasn’t my jam and wasn’t worth investing my time in. I may hate failing, but I know it’s an acceptable outcome and no longer fear it. If I don’t fear failing, I’m free to look silly, I’m free to make mistakes, I’m free to learn and flourish. I end up succeeding far more often than failing, I became courageous!

Take a leap of faith and at least try something new and discover your new passions and purpose. Who knows, it may even turn into a new profession!

The final part of my transformation was finding the folks through those activities that I joined fearlessly who became my core of support. For me, that was my AA friends, my church, choir groups, and my online groups to start with.

Being stuck in bed doesn’t give me a lot of face-to-face time with folks and I often have to break off my plans last minute because my body says no. But true friends understand, don’t shame, and often can find quiet alternatives.

Finding my tribe was key to getting to medical appointments, which led to a medical diagnosis. Joining AA and my church led to attaining and maintaining my sobriety. Joining various choirs and learning the stories in the bible sparked my interest in writing music again.

Sharing my story of experience, strength and hope with others taught me how words can be a powerful tool for healing and inspire others to make it through ‘one more day’. That desire to help others has now led me to take speaking from being a passion and I am now turning it into my profession!

All of these things add up to a life I still can enjoy, a purpose-filled life, a joy-filled life.
My life is limited, but it’s not ‘bad’. Yes, I am still sick, still hurt, still struggling with the simplest of things, but I have discovered my new “I am”.

I am a singer/songwriter, I am an author, I am a crafter, I am a disability event creator, I am a Speaker, I am so much more than my illnesses!

No matter where you are in your journey, just know that you are loved, you have value, you are utterly amazing, and you got this! Try something new today and unlock new passions and purpose. Be willing to fearlessly fail because everything you try becomes your stepping stone for the future. Find your folks, the ones who will love and support you just the way you are because you are worth it! I hope I’ve brought a smile to your face and done my job today!

You can find out more about CJ Janzen by visiting her website and following her on Instagram, LinkedIn and YouTube.

Have you had similar experiences dealing with the diagnosis of chronic illnesses? Let us know in the comments box, on social media or contact us to share your personal story.  

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