My Unexpected Life: Finding Balance Beyond My Diagnosis is a 2023 memoir by Jennifer Gasner, a disability advocate and mentor diagnosed with Friedreich’s ataxia at 17. With unflinching honesty, Jennifer shares her journey of learning to view her changing body with compassion, choosing gratitude over anger, and ultimately discovering resilience and acceptance through disability culture.
In this review, our editor, Emma Purcell, delves into Jennifer’s heartfelt account – from navigating sadness, denial, and alienation to embracing a new way of moving through life.
My Unexpected Life plot summary
In My Unexpected Life, Jennifer Gasner recounts her life’s sudden change after being diagnosed with Friedreich’s ataxia (FA), a rare neuromuscular disease. As she begins college, she struggles to hold on to her independence, but as her symptoms worsen, she falls into sorrow, fear and self-destructive habits, including alcohol and a toxic relationship.
Jennifer’s friendship with musician Dave Matthews became a lifeline, helping her see past her physical limitations to a life of possibility. His presence offered her a new perspective – a beacon of hope she hadn’t thought possible in her darkest moments.
Through disability culture, Jennifer realises her body’s limitations don’t define her identity. Embracing her disability, she learns to approach life with appreciation and finds strength in a community that redefines what it means to thrive.
My Unexpected Life book review
Reading the blurb, I immediately thought of my late friend Lottie Rapson, who lived with FA until age 27. While I was already familiar with the condition, I was concerned I might be comparing Jennifer’s experiences to Lottie’s as I read.
In the opening chapters, Jennifer vividly recounts the shock and trauma of her diagnosis – a life-altering moment that shattered her sense of normalcy and thrust her into a world of uncertainty. Though I didn’t know Lottie’s pre-diagnosis, Jennifer’s account made me wonder if she’d experienced similar emotions.
Jennifer’s time at college introduces the barriers disabled students face. I liked that she met another student with FA, though her approach to their conversation could have been more sensitive. This serves as a reminder that disabled individuals, even those with the same condition, have unique perspectives and experiences.
One thing I appreciated about the book was its depiction of Jennifer’s “normal” college life, from attending lectures to dating and going out. These moments made her story feel like a coming-of-age journey rather than just an account of disability – or, as Jennifer called it, “a soap opera”.
As her impairment visibly progressed, Jennifer’s struggle to navigate everyday life—and the emotional sting of strangers offering pity or prayer instead of respect—felt painfully relatable. Each encounter with inaccessible spaces or well-meaning but invasive strangers reminded me of the isolating impact of society’s misconceptions.
Also, as a British citizen, it was interesting to learn about how disability benefits, healthcare, wheelchair accessible vehicles and other disability support services differ in America. It is a shame that the US does not have a Motability scheme like the UK, in which you can lease an accessible vehicle at an affordable price.
I, too, know the bittersweet feeling of letting go of one dream only to find fulfilment in another path. Like Jennifer, I once imagined a career as a music journalist, but my journey as a writer in disability publications introduced me to a community that inspired me far beyond my original goals. That unexpected purpose made the shift not only bearable but deeply meaningful.
In the end, Jennifer’s story is a testament to resilience and self-discovery – a journey that doesn’t sugarcoat the hardships yet offers a vision of life that’s rich in meaning, connection, and hope. For anyone facing the limits of their own body, My Unexpected Life is a reminder that even when our original dreams fall away, there is beauty in creating new ones.
You can purchase My Unexpected Life: Finding Balance Beyond My Diagnosis on Amazon UK, Amazon US, Goodreads, Kobo, Apple Books and other book retailers.
About the author: Jennifer Gasner
Jennifer Gasner attended college at her home state’s University of Wisconsin-Platteville, where she received her BA in English. She was involved in the Student Activities Board and campus radio station, where she honed her love for music. She then went on to Western Illinois University for her MS in Recreation.
She began working with Independent Living Centers in Wisconsin and began advocating for people with disabilities and learning about disability culture. Her understanding of programs for the disabled gave her the courage to move to San Diego by herself when she was 28. In San Diego, she worked for various non-profits and UC San Diego. She became involved in the disability community as a mentor for What’s Next, a mentorship program for youth with disabilities and as co-chair of UC San Diego’s Staff Association for staff with disabilities.
In 2020, she became an Ambassador for Friedreich’s Ataxia Research Alliance (FARA), advocating for research and bringing awareness of FA to the community. As a result, she participated in Rare Across America, meeting with legislators to discuss current legislation affecting more than 25 million Americans living with one or more rare diseases.
As a member of the International Memoir Writers Association, she was honoured as a Member of the Month in February 2020.
Besides writing, in her free time, she loves doing yoga, going to movies, and travelling. She lives in San Diego, CA, with her boyfriend Gregory and their two dogs, Wyatt and Ki.
You can find out more about Jennifer Gasner by visiting her website and following her on Facebook and Instagram.
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