Krystian Cholewa, a 40-year-old man who lives with cerebral palsy, reflects on gratitude, independence and the vital support of family, friends and professionals throughout his life in this personal story.
Gratitude is essential, even when living with a disability. Every life is a gift, regardless of our physical condition. If we were conceived by our parents, it means we have a purpose to fulfil. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be here. Everyone is called to something.
I have managed to achieve a great deal in my life: graduating from university, obtaining a Category B driver’s license, and being active in the professional job market – both through graduate internships and regular employment. Not to mention the independence and resourcefulness I possess today.
However, I know this is not solely my own doing. I owe it first and foremost to my parents, my sister, and a higher power. For every kindness received from my caregivers and the people I have met along the way, I say a heartfelt “thank you.” I’m also grateful to the doctor who diagnosed me and later took charge of my medical treatment.
My parents taught me that one must be grateful for everything received as a gift from fate. If someone helps me cross the street, I always thank them. Being disabled does not mean that I am entitled to anything in life or that everyone is obligated to help me. It is merely an act of goodwill from others, not their duty.
Read: Breaking Barriers: Living With Cerebral Palsy And Building A Life Of Strength And Purpose
How family, friends and professionals supported my education as a disabled person
Most of all, I must thank my parents for every single day of education and rehabilitation, which began as early as kindergarten. It was my mother who dedicated the most time to me.
I would also like to take this opportunity to deeply thank my kindergarten teacher, who knew how to guide me and design an appropriate learning program that I could practice at home in the afternoons. Back then, there were no special guidelines developed for students with cerebral palsy, as there are today.
Investing in my education was a whole-family effort. My late father, despite working hard, always found the time to explain the concepts of mathematics and foreign languages to me. My sister had a massive impact on my education during middle and high school, as well as on my choice of university major. I thank my cousin for explaining chemical bonds to me, which was crucial for my promotion to the next grade in high school.
I am also deeply grateful to the person who selflessly prepared me for my native language matura exam, despite her own family and professional responsibilities, she always found time for me. Furthermore, I extend my gratitude to my friends, who provided me with IT support, and to the lady who guided me through writing my bachelor’s thesis in economics.
There are undoubtedly many more people whom I haven’t mentioned here; it is difficult to list everyone without leaving someone out. Every single one of them put in the effort to make my life easier. I am profoundly grateful to all of you.
Read: From Personal Experience To National Action: Disability Inclusion in Schools Cannot Wait
Living with a disability: balancing independence and gratitude
Yet, I always try to do things on my own first. I never immediately expect help, no matter the situation. As a person with a disability, I am well aware that the world does not revolve around me. Everyone has their own affairs and problems. Often, at first glance, people might say: “That guy doesn’t have a care in the world. He looks good, has a good job, a car – what more could he want?” But we do not know if there is an invisible disability or family struggles behind it, which also significantly impact one’s life and health.
Therefore, I wish for all of you, despite your challenges, to always be grateful to your parents, caregivers, and siblings for every bit of good received from them. Use those three magic words: please, thank you, and I am sorry.
It is not easy for them to raise and care for a child with a disability either. Show them joy and affection, rather than just anger, guilt, and helplessness. Sometimes a smile or a nod of the head is enough to make your caregivers feel your appreciation. For them, that will be the best form of payment. This does not only apply to children with a disability certificate, but to everyone whose parents have dedicated their lives to them.
Sometimes gratitude is expressed in very negative ways. Let us be thankful for everything, because we do not live on a deserted island and we depend on our caregivers. Let us remember one thing: life and health are fleeting. Suddenly, we might find ourselves with no one left to thank. So we must do it every day, without waiting for the perfect moment.
What are your thoughts on gratitude as a disabled person? How do you show appreciation for the family, friends, carers and professionals who support you throughout your life? Let us know in the comments box, on social media or contact us to share your personal story.