For Michael Bublé, Mariah Carey and lots of people, Christmas is indeed the most wonderful time of the year! However, there are aspects of our typical Christmas celebrations that can overwhelm the senses and unknowingly add lots of pressure and stress to neurodivergent children.
To help share the magic that is this lovely holiday, Ella Rides from Captain Fantastic – the UK’s number one children’s entertainment company – shares her top ten tips to make your party accessible for those with learning disabilities, complex sensory needs or autistic children.
1. Create space for neurodivergent children
Having a breakout space in the house or room can be really helpful for those struggling with a particular activity. This is usually somewhere like a hideaway tent or under a blanket or even in another room.
This sensory deprivation can help individuals self-regulate their emotions and feel more secure and in control. This mustn’t be used to exclude these children instead as a voluntary option for them if they choose it.
2. Clear schedules
We all know Christmas can be hectic and there often seems to be lots to do. This might be quite daunting to neurodivergent children who strive when structure and planning is in place. So if you can, have a visual layout of the big changes in the day. This could be when new people are arriving, when food is being served and when to go home.
This can also help with transitions from activities as they will have time to prepare. We all know that some things are out of our control and do change unexpectedly. If so, don’t worry, just make sure you tell them as soon as possible and give them lots of support.
3. Maybe don’t Deck all the Halls
The beautiful lights displays and tinsel bring lots of Christmas spirit to a party. Some can be exciting and interesting for people with additional sensory needs. It is important to remember that some can also be overwhelming such as flashing coloured tree lights or talking and singing Santa’s.
Instead, try putting on warmer, softer lighting to create a more accessible space for neurodivergent children to enjoy and then you can use the fun disco lights sporadically so as not to overstimulate anyone.
4. Hugs or high fives
Some neurodivergent children find physical signs of affection invasive and can add to feelings of tension and anxiety. So remembering to ask for hugs is a great way to keep communication clear and gives neurodivergent children a chance to initiate instead. Sometimes starting with a wave or high-five can help if you haven’t seen them in a while.
5. Stimming is like breathing
Using repetitive motions or sounds is called stimming and is a crucial part of self-regulation for lots of neurodivergent children. Some may be very obvious such as hand flapping or whistling but some might be more subtle such as twiddling hair or picking their nails.
These are forms of expression as well as tools for wellbeing and can be very soothing for these children. For lots of children who stim, a great gift idea is fidget toys! Any leftover bubble wrap can be a great option in an emergency.
6. Steady countdown to Christmas
During the holidays, lots of kids get very excited about receiving presents, meeting Santa and no school – whoop! And it can feel a lot like a rollercoaster – sometimes it can be hard for neurodivergent children to find balance and regulate their emotions when outside of their schedule.
What starts out as excitement can turn into nerves which can turn into anxiety as they get closer to the unknown such as a party, family gathering or outing.
A nice way to ease children into celebrations is to use visual cues and countdowns. You can try out some of the activities you might do at the party at home, like watch twinkling lights or dance with family so that the practised event becomes less daunting.
7. Dressing up or down
The classic attire of ‘jeans and a nice top’ is set aside during Christmas for sequins, bows and heels. Some children may love this freedom to dress in their favourite Disney costume but for some these new clothes might have itchy seams or rough labels in them, which can add to sensory discomfort.
If you are going somewhere in a party outfit it’s sometimes good to bring some safety items of clothing that they wear often that they can change into if it does become too overwhelming.
8. Taster plates for neurodivergent children
Now we all have our favourite Christmas food – mine is honey-roasted parsnips – Yum! And my not-so-favourite – brussel sprouts – Yuck!
Christmas brings out some dishes that we don’t really eat through the rest of the year and it can be quite daunting for children with complex sensory needs to eat foods they haven’t had before. Additionally, some textures, tastes and smells can be very polarising for neurodivergent children because of their sensory sensitivity.
So when planning your dinner, try not to take it personally if someone won’t eat your lovely egg salad. Instead, what you can offer is a tasting plate for those who would feel comfortable enough to test out something new.
9. Gift giving and receiving
The presents have been waiting under the tree all this time and now it’s time to open them. For some neurodivergent children, they may express their emotions in different ways and others can interpret this as uninterested or rude.
Yet for a lot of kids it just takes time to process the information and reactions come at a delayed response and for others just aren’t expressing their feelings as neurotypical people do.
So to alleviate some pressure from these kids to ‘put on’ a face to try and blend in, it can be helpful to give them the option to open the presents at home or after the party. These seemingly small things can help make autistic and neurodivergent children feel more relaxed and able to enjoy their celebrations instead of appeasing social etiquette.
10. Surprise!
The fight/flight response that everybody has when they are shocked quickly turns to laughter or happiness when your mind realises you are safe. However, some neurodivergent children don’t have the tools to get past that stage and once there it can be very hard to transition out. Even the best surprises like – look who’s over there it’s Santa – can be jarring and confusing for some people.
So what works best is to keep everyone informed on what’s happening and if you do want to surprise some children, try to let some kids know just beforehand so they can cover their ears, find a safe space or even just knowing in advance can help them stay involved in the celebrations.
These are just tips Ella has found work well as someone who works with neurodivergent children. If you can suggest other ways to support children with additional sensory needs during the festive period, do let us know in the comments box or on social media.
Whatever you get up to this Christmas, do it with style and make sure it’s FANTASTIC!
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